Change - part 2

Today’s my third day working at this company. I’m slowly fitting in. I think I can see myself contributing here. My first day was hell. I swear I almost died! Watching the clock goes by sooo slowwwly.. When I got home, I hugged my baby and I cried really hard. She patted me in confusion. It baffled me how a one-year-old can understand emotions and be so compassionate. I cried even harder. I seek solitude in my husband’s caring arms. As I regained realization and recollected myself, I sat down to think on my way forward.

It wasn’t the job, the boss nor the people. It was me having a tough time adapting. I know that I am the type of person who repulses changes terribly. I hate it when I have to change school every other year since my dad’s job requires relocations. I hate it when I have to start staying at the hostel during my pre-uni days. I had could not manage changing rooms after each semester in uni. I had a tough time adjusting being a wife. I almost had a breakdown after giving birth to my adorable daughter. But one thing for sure is that in DUE TIME, I managed. Heck, I rocked it!

So to sum it all up, give time. Everything will flow through nicely. If it doesn’t, CHANGE!

changes

im going through a lot of changes in my life at the moment. i learnt that i am quite persistant to changes. and i also learnt that its q normal thing (phew).. as i read on 'going through changes in life', i realised that my changes is fairly simple ones. people are going through bankruptcy, loss of a dear one, break-ups etc. far worst! so now i am toning down the level of drama in ways i would narrate the story here.

1) i am going through a change of career
totally clueless. but i have a feeling im gonna rock it :) lets just hope my positive attitude on this works out fine. my dad advised me to have a game plan, come with a bang. hmm... will work on that i suppose.

2) i am moving to another house
yup, we finally found ourselves a new home. a place we can call ours. i used to long for it soooo much! now the excitement is mixed with the uncertainty and doubts. most of it because i have to move out of my comfort zone. i used to loathe it here, but after more than two years of adjustment, its not so bad after all. having said that, i am zest up to see the new place and setting up the place with my DH will be fun fun fun!

3) i am changing my lifestyle
last november, the three of us had a holiday in australia. it was great! i love it there. i love the cleanliness, i love the pace there, i love the mindset of the people there... everything! to the point that i looked up on migrating to australia! anyways, my stay there has made me more aware about how i live my life. i want to lead an active and healthy life. i will also watch what i eat and what my family eat.

4) i am going to change the babysitter for my baby
my lil one is 1 and a half now. she has been with her grandparents during the day while my husband and i were at work. and during my gap of changing jobs, i took care of her myself and it has been over a month now. im thinking about sending her to a montessori now that she is bigger. have not decided on that yet. hmm..

5) i will change to be a better person
as a whole, i want to be a better servant of God. set a good example for my lil one. dear God, please help me to do just that. amin.

SAHM

if you have been following, you would know that i left my job last week (giving a pat on my back). subsequently, i have been a full time housewife or a stay at home mom (SAHM) for almost a week now (giving myself a HARDER pat on the back). this new lifestyle im adapting is very different in many ways and here are the things i learnt recently.

1) im super attached to my baby and vice-versa. even her babah is second choice now ;p
2) i may not be cut-out to be a SAHM but im rocking it! i learn to cook baby menus, dinner for my hubby, and some other chores too.
3)  i am stressssssss freeeeeeeeeee (yeay!)
4) i got hooked on American Idol 10 and oh my god is steven tyler hot or super hot?! HOT DOG! (ok, maybe too much tv..heh). never knew i can be a groupie. heh..

note: of course my DH is my number one super star!! (in case you are reading this ;p )

parenting

 

23 september 2010. that was the fated dated. my first day of being a parent. she was the most beautiful thing i ever laid my eyes on. she has tiny eyes like her father's, cute buttony nose with red adorable lips also like her father's.

i gave birth to her, a 3.1kg baby then, on a wednesday (4th of syawal 1430) after 8hrs of struggling in the labour room. she was a healthy baby though she had to be incubated for 5 days for toxic removal after consuming meconium due to stress (long labour). i was worried, confused and guilt-stricken. i suffered the post-natal depression. it lasted for weeks. it was my DH who juggled everything and still manage offer me a smile face while i just lay there crying in confusion.

i had my confinement back home at my parents some 400km away from my house. i slowly regain my sanity and bonded with my beautiful newborn. she doubled her weight and she was blessed with health and she was a happy baby. her milestones were always on check with her growth if not quicker. i returned to after 2months of maternity leave despite me having second thoughts about continuing to work.

my baby is 16 months now. she can (baby) talk, run around and feed herself. she eats almost everything we eat. she sleeps with her elephant soft toy that she loves so much. she gets excited everytime we bath her. and she is the cutest when she laughs! oh, DH and i enjoy watching her grow but inside of me, i wish she could pause.

"mommy cant catch up with u sayang. please dont grow up so fast." :(

the love of my life

he was the love of my life. i fell for him. hard. he was a friend who became a partner and subsequently my soulmate. we have been happily together for over 4 years, including 2 years of marriage. together, we share EVERYTHING. a house, a car, a bed and a beautiful daughter. the latter one is the most important of all. i watched him grow from a carefree teenager to a responsible employee, to a responsible husband and to a loving father. he was good at everything he does really. he was awarded the Start Award best employee last month, he was a husband that provide everything in the house including the housework and he was the first (other that the nurse and doctor) who held our baby. what more can i say, god sent me an angel.

career

im not much of a career-oriented person. i like having a job (that pays), making me feel useful and what not, but then again i dont strategize a game plan to work my way up and set goals for myself to land a top-notch position in the company or things like that. im pretty much contented if i can contribute in ways i can, deliver what is expected and by the end of the month, i get rewarded for that effort. thats it. promotions or bonuses are the extras.

being a wife and a mother of a beautiful baby, i did thought about leaving the job and start a home-based job or a part-time job. but being in malaysia, opportunities like that are not easily available unless you start your own business. i have tried:
1) online blogshop selling women fashion wear - sold 10 pieces with 3 left
2) online and offline business selling kain sulam (material with embroidery) - sold 20 pieces, have 2 left
3) part-time private tutor- on-going till today

from all three experiences, i would say tutoring is the best for me. it pays, i love teaching and it is less time consuming and headaches. it is totally rewarding when your students excel in major exams, it just make me so proud! :) i was contemplating on doing tutoring for a full-time job as i can have the flexibility time-wise. but i often hesitated. i feel that it lacks in the job security department. actually, confidence is what i lack. i have had 6 students ever since.

my full-time job is an executive (kuli batak) post at a corporate company. this is my first job and i stuck to it for almost 3 years now. i feel that i dont 'grow' much there. i didnt learn as much as i expect and sadly, i dont gain much friendship as well. my unsatisfaction got the best of me and my tolerence is going thin. the work balance there is non existant. i tendered my resignation and will be leaving this cold cold place soon.

i landed my second job in a small IT company near my house (15mins away). the location was my number one perk! second one would be the pay. there rest is just neglible. i havent started working there yet, but im full with enthusiasm.

note: for better or for worse, i stand guided by YOU.

auto

i need a car. i have 3 weeks to go around (browse online) about it. come march, i would need the car to commute back and forth to work (did i mention that im changing job? if i havent, i will blog about that next. promise!). i didnt have much choice to choose from as my budget is pretty much ciput. its has to be auto transmission car, fairly new with age less than 8yrs old, low maintenance and lastly but most importantly below rm20k! where on god blessed earth can i find a car like that? my oh-so-limited choices are as listed below:

1) perodua kelisa - rm16-17k for 2003 model. but i dont fancy it much
2) innokom atos - rm 13k for 2003 model. but high maintenance+fuel consumption
3) proton savvy - rm14-15k for 2005 model. but must buy manual only
4) proton saga blm - rm25-26k for 2008 model. burst the budget!

sigh. im more inclining towards buying a saga blm, but i have to win a lottery first. should that never happen, i would be buying a manual transmission proton savvy and swap cars with my DH. his is an auto transmission car. decisions decisions decisions... how i would love a world where they dont matter.

note: yes, i only drive auto transmission cars. period.